[Not language related- INFP friendly]
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, self discovery, life detox, mental detox, finding out how I am like as a company to myself, opening myself to thinking concepts, and most importantly, hearing my own voice. It sounds silly, but I believe everyone has an inner voice, one that guides one to truly being oneself, being aware of one’s interests, unadulterated by external influences and social norms. And oh boy. What a refreshing experience it is beginning to turn out!
WHAT I HAVE DONE: (HIBERNATION)
- Limit interaction with people & friends: speaking when necessary and forgoing all small talks.
- Keeping away from social media as much as possible (comments, chatter)
- Embracing thinking and meditation
- De-clutter & minimalism – Less is more.
- Embracing hobbies and new skills (<– insert language learning)
- Reading more
WHAT HAS CHANGED?
- New-found personal freedom
- Happiness / Less stress (I’m actually happy!)
- Change in preference and thinking
- New appreciation for self & family
- Personal Motivation
- Independence and Confidence
- I’m actually writing!
As an (INFP) introvert, less social interaction comes more naturally to me, but I believe a detox is beneficial to everyone. While it may not be completely realistic for people with many obligations and whose lifestyles don’t allow for hibernation, but I believe that anyone can definitely afford even a short quality time with themselves.
WHY LESS IS MORE?
Isolation brings out certain things. For one, you will be left with your thoughts. To some, it will be scary and unfamiliar, it can get warped and go all weird and twisty and asocial. I don’t encourage complete shut down from all interaction with the world – I read the news, I just don’t read the comments, I read people’s blogs about THEIR self discovery, so I can relate and get inspiration. In particular, I find solo travelling blogs the most fulfilling. The culture! The sense of discovery! The history and architecture! The scenery! Independence and freedom!
Solitude, when accepted allows you to be more aware of your thoughts and actions too. For years, I’ve been constantly frustrated, constantly angry and upset with people, strangers, when things don’t go right, when there’s no time left, compromising self for others.. I personally found all these stressful, but I hadn’t realized it was chronic low grade stress. With poor coping mechanism, I was bitter, short tempered and cynical, engaged in gossip, watched horror movies and listened to loud dance music to drown the noise of the world. My writing was filled with despair and only plunged me deeper into darkness that I quit on my own ex-blog.
Self consciousness faded the moment I allowed myself peace to slow down and do things I wanted, go places I wanted. Have you noticed yourself being like this in the company of others? ‘I don’t mind! Is there anything you want to buy? Don’t worry about me, I’ll do that another time’ I have. Having nobody to alter my behaviour allowed me to find my own voice, to learn what I really liked without having to explain why I’m so boring or explain why my interests are cheesy and socially uncool. To myself, I only have to answer, ‘So?’ I don’t care I’m boring and uncool. Hee.
As a result, I’ve gone back to listening to ballads, old songs, reading, reading rom-com webtoons, wearing weird shit, doing loner things like sit by the river or browsing for hours at a bookstore/library.. I don’t feel as stressed to everyday things anymore. I accept that things out of my control are just going to be, and care less about what other people think about me.
I’ve also started making my living space more minimal (work in progress). Throwing items away that I would normally be sentimental about feels refreshing. De-clutter is one way to take control and physically cleanse your space so you get a clearer sense of where things are and a greater appreciation of the things and people you DO have. Digging up old stuff also made me reminisce about the past, and throwing them away was a gesture of embracing a better future.
Now I’ve come to understand that forcing myself to live as others do, being in the moment, surrounded by people, noise, chatter.. these just aren’t for me. People have told me millions of times that ‘You think too much’. Yes, they are right. But their solution for me wasn’t. I am a natural born thinker, and my attempts at ‘dumbing down my brain – listening to club music, watching shows that required no thinking and no emotional involvement only forced me to do thinking in a negative way – picking at my flaws, being hyper sensitive, feeling a sense of despair over the future, collapsing friendships, feeling inferior, guessing people’s intentions.
and I think I want to re-learn the piano after I’m done with Korean! (and perhaps pick up a third foreign language ^^)
(I don’t aim to teach or coach people how to live their lives, therefore most of what is on this blog is more of a self discovery and steps I took to get there type of thing. If this isn’t your thing, by all means 🙂 )